i haven’t written in a long long time and i know that it was one of my new years resolutions but i just havn’t been feeling like it. its the best way for me to release my anxietys and stresses but i just lack the interest. i will push myself today.
i guess there is lack of chaos in my life. insanity always leads me to some great writing. love makes my heart beat. and for the first time in over 10 years i feel very peaceful. very accomplished. and also very boring. i feel routined. i love it right now but i will get bored of this soon. i dont want the drama, i dont want the stress, i dont want the anxiety back, but a little excitment, the good free kind is what i would love to have soon. i know to be very careful for what i wish for…for some reason if i am not detailed enough i get a crappy version of what i wanted.
good news, i HAVE moved forward in a couple resolutions. one being education…i am taking steps, baby steps but steps to getting back to school. i will start at the end of this month and will get my certificate in event planning and while i am doing that i will work my little butt on getting a real education. i guess at 27 i am finally ready to grow up. i dont know what i want to be when i get there but i am sure it will come to me through my path that i have choosen. i love event planning. i think i have planned my wedding 1457 times and whenever i meet someone that i find interesting enough i invision what theirs would be like as well. its strange but thats how my brain functions.
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i’ll sit with you for hours in the most comfortable silence. the waves will do the talking and you will smell like the moonlight. my mind will think a thousand thoughts, and yours will have only one. i lay there and sketch orien in my soul. i feel free of responsibilitys when i am in your arms but that is not what i want.
i push you to the back of my heart and hope that you will let me breath.
